RALEIGH – Local Republican attorney and N.C. Supreme Court candidate Chris Anglin may have an advantage unavailable to his primary opponent, fellow Republican and Associate Justice Barbara Jackson.
That is because GOP member Anglin is running for the Court seat not merely as a Republican, but as a “proud North Carolina-born and -bred Republican black woman,” he said in an exclusive interview with Ungrammared©®™.
Anglin, who is a Republican, kicked off his campaign by switching his registration from Democrat to Republican in June and also by claiming his “rightful heritage, that of the African-American woman in the South.”
“This is really history in the making,” said the Right Reverend and NAACP defensive end William Barber. “We’ve never had a Republican wanting to represent our interests on the Court so strongly. Praise be, I guess.”
Anglin, who like countless Republican attorneys practices personal injury law, has hired famed constitutional hawk and conservative strategist Perry Woods to run his campaign. Woods said he was proud to be the force behind “this tough, proud black Republican woman. Who, by the way, is also a lesbian.”
Strict constitutionalist and states-rights advocate John Burns, a Wake County Commissioner, is Anglin’s attorney. “We’re going to make sure those libtards in Dee-Cee don’t take our guns or our liberties,” said Burns, before driving to a campaign rally in his F-150 with a “Don’t Tread On Me” sticker below the gun rack.
Anglin already has an axe to grind with his beloved newfound party, which recently lost a court fight to have Anglin strung up in the public square remove party affiliations less than 90 days old from the judicial ballots. Anglin’s real quote from an actual real newspaper, The News and Observer: “They are so frightened by our campaign and message, that in a stunning act of cowardice, they are taking steps to misrepresent who I am on the ballot.” (Anglin was dismissive of nitpicky reporters who said he would come off as more Republican if he didn’t refer to other Republicans as “they.”)
He continued, “I, for one, cannot wait to break the glass ceiling with my fellow sisters of color, GOP or otherwise. Cheri-Boo and I are going to shake this place up!”
“He said what?” said Cheri Beasley, an Associate Justice on the North Carolina Supreme Court and, like Anglin, a black female. “That man might need to hit the tanning bed before that sh*t’s believable. And maybe a psychiatrist.”
TAGGED ANGLIN, CHERI BEASLEY, CHRIS ANGLIN, DEMOCRAT, GOP, JOHN BURNS, LOCAL PARODY, LOCAL SATIRE, NAACP, NC SUPREME COURT, NCDEMS, NCGOP, NCLEG, RALEIGH, REV. BARBER, SPOOF, UNGRAMMARED