One-tenth of the women’s Porta-Johns being staged for this weekend’s anal bacterial-explosion party.
By H.L. HUNLEY 20 JULY 2016
RALEIGH – As hundreds gather for the awkwardly named Destination Dix celebration this Saturday, local Porta-John company owners say they’re up for the challenge.
“Hey, we’ve done Phish concerts in the summer, and that’s no joke,” said Bobby McGill, owner of Drop Zone Portable Toilet Co. in Wendell. “We had to fumigate the hell out of those johns to get rid of the weed and patchouli stench.
“But food trucks from 10 to 7 on a 99-degree day in Raleigh? I might as well be in India on a cholera ward.”
There has been some confusion, as well, over the branding of both the new park, across the street from Pullen Park, and the festival. “Pullen-Dix Park has attracted its share of paneled vans and creeper ‘staches,” said park visionary and City Councilman Bonner Gaylord. “We thought about reversing the order of the names, but that wasn’t much better.”
“I heard about Destination Dix on the radio, and I thought, Raleigh is really letting its hair down now,” said Louis Blankenship, who drove home from a vacation in South Beach to partake in the festivities. “Seeing the name in print made more sense. What a f***ing disappointment.”