By NORM D. GUERRE 2/2/2016
Charlotte, NC – The City of Charlotte is will soon be hiring a new tree Czar after long time Czar Don McSween’s reign has come to an end. The Charlotte Czar’s duties included being an earthly deity to his subjects, taxing, and creating alliances between city departments through marriages.
The City of Durham, to keep up with the Queen City, will be hiring a Bush and Shrub Grand Vizier (وزیر اعظم). The human resource department of the City of Durham has not released a job posting but city spokesman Beverly Thompson stated, “The ideal candidate for Bush’n Shrub Vizier will likely conduct affairs of the state, be extremely pious, and unafraid of blood.”
As of press time, Raleigh Mayor Nancy McFarlane is considering hiring a Satrap for the lands OTB.