Duke Totally Going With Plan B On Whole Minaret Thing

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BY BILLY N. FORCEY          JAN. 16, 2015

DURHAM – Michael Schoenfeld, vice president for public affairs and government relations at Duke University, held a press conference yesterday to announce a reversal of the decision to call Muslim prayers from the venerable Duke Chapel.

“Honestly, I’m not sure what the hell we were thinking,” said Schoenfeld after a controversy of Koranic proportions erupted.

Instead, said Schoenfeld, Duke was planning on cooperating with NC State University to co-locate a hogfat rendering plant with the Jewish Cultural Center.

At press time, 89% of students at the university were pining for the good ol’ days of the Duke Lacrosse Scandal.

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