Protestors topple statue of local sex offender

By Warren Tidly-Timid

CHARLOTTE – Protesters here have toppled a statue of a local sex and racial sensitivities offender, Panthers Owner Jerry Richardson, during a #MeToo rally against sexual harassment.

A female protester climbed a Panther statue via a ladder, then attached a rope around the neck of statue of Richardson. The crowd then pulled it to the ground.

A young man clad in skin tight jeans and thick, black framed glasses quickly ran up to spit on the statue, while several female protesters with flannel shirts tied around their waists began kicking it.

The young man, who would only give his name as Teigen R. Jameson, stated to an Ungrammared reporter: “We can no longer accept the objectification of females in the workplace. It’s past time we had a female CEO of an NFL Team. F*ck the WTO. Boycott Israel! End misogyny and climate change! Teigen OUT!”

Mr. Jameson then posed for a selfie which he said he intends to use on Ashley Madison and Tinder.

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