N.C. State Begins Search for 2022 Replacement of Kevin Keatts

Keatts has been circulating his headshot to interested universities with the full expectation that NCSU is “a really temporary gig.”

RALEIGH – Current NCSU interim head basketball coach Kevin Keatts just signed a multi-year lease on an ITB apartment close to his new job at State but also near I-40 “…for quick access to RDU. I expect to fly to a lot of interviews in about four or five years,” said Keatts in an exclusive interview with Ungrammared.

Athletic Director Debbie Yow confirmed in a phone interview the decision to look for Keatts’s replacement “in or around 2022 or ’23.” She spoke from the AD Lair, perched on a rocky outcrop near Centennial Campus. “Kevin really doesn’t need to get too comfortable,” she said. “Frankly, with the wheels I’ve set in motion for replacements every time a coach displeases Me, I probably would have gone month-to-month on that apartment.”

Keatts has apparently taken the advice to heart. “I love SpectrumTimeWarnerCablevision’s no-contract service. Ditto for T-Mobile. I’m probably not even going to unpack the good china. I mean, why bother?” He plans to get the team to several Sweet Sixteen appearances before letting them implode/get on academic probation/go to the NBA/jail.

Athletic Director Yow’s replacement’s replacement is probably looking forward to meeting Keatts’s successor. “My contract runs out in 2019,” said Yow. “The way things go around here, I might take over for him or her again in 2022 once everyone gets pissed about every sport except swimming and riflery.”

Duke’s men’s basketball program has already expressed interest in hiring Keatts in 2021, pending review of his recruiting performance and assuming Coach Krzyzewski’s deal with Satan is conveyable.

, , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *