By NORM D. GUERRE 8/4/2015
Charlotte – The Carolina Panthers announced today a change in the team name. “The Carolina Panthers will now be called the Charlotte Trolley Dodgers, or the Charlotte Dodgers,” stated owner Jerry Richardson and Coach Ron Rivera in a joint press conference.
The new name pays tribute to the ‘dodging’ Charlotte’s NFL players have to do when crossing down (up)town Charlotte streets to reach Bank of America field.
Veteran quarterback Cam Newton spoke with Ungrammared in an after practice interview. “Walking over from 1st Ward used to be an easy walk. Of course, that’s when public transportation downtown consisted of CATS buses or the light rail, not these new-fangled trolley cars,” he stated while strapping on a pair of knickers and setting aside his leather helmet.
The two time Pro Bowler continued, “I’ve got a date tonight with this hotsy-totsy dame. I tell ya, she’s a real choice bit of calico. And we were gonna ride the rails to get to this new club where apparently everyone uses Dapper Dan or a good bit of Pomade and you can get some real swell giggle water but I’m not so sure it’s safe although they say it’s the way of the future.”
At press time, the NFL was reporting that the Carolina Panthers franchise had joined the Charlotte Bobcats as the Carolina’s favorite vintage team.