Tillis: “Salmonella Will Revitalize Failing Health Care System”

BY NORM D. GUERRE         FEB. 4, 2015

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In one of his first legislative addresses on the Hill, North Carolina’s junior senator Thom Tillis has tackled the nation’s failing health care system, Obamacare, and intrusive government regulations head-on.

“I came to DC to make a difference,” Tillis said in a statement given on the steps of the US Capitol building. “First and foremost, we must revitalize our failing health care system, and Obamacare is simply not the solution. The solution is the free market.”

In a follow-up Q&A with reporters, the senator, known for his reputation as a pragmatic policy wonk, delved further into the details of how the free market and increased private sector spending would be the nail in the coffin of Obamacare.

“First off, restaurant employees should not be required to wash their hands. If restaurant employees don’t wash their hands, then customers get salmonella, go to their doctor, spend money, and get that economic ball that is America rolling,” Tillis responded when asked how to incentivize spending.

“And if patients are spending, the economy will gather steam. Also, restaurants with the reputation of giving salmonella will go out of business. It’s simply economic Darwinism for restaurants…and maybe restaurant goers too,” he said.

Tillis demonstrates how the "smell test" can be implemented after an employee bathroom break.

Tillis demonstrates how the “smell test” can be implemented after an employee bathroom break.

When pressed by interviewers, Tillis admitted he would “probably not” eat at the Congressional Members’ Dining Room if hand washing was not required.

“We’re going to do a lot of good here,” Tillis boasted. “Even now, our staff is working on a bill that will increase the acceptable amount of rat and vermin feces in chocolate factories. This will completely reduce intrusive and stymying government regulation of the chocolate industry.”

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