Ungrammared’s Extremely Scientific Exit Poll Interviews

Compiled scientifically by Roger Thornhill, Ungrammared Correspondent. Idea totally not ripped off from The Onion.
“I didn’t vote for the guy, but Molotov Mitchell got one thing right: Josh Stein could stand to do a few push-ups.”
Meredith Basnight, SBI Agent
“Why are there so many f**king judges?”
Gilbert E. Driver III, Orthopaedic Surgeon
“Today I cast my vote for Kay Hagan, and sent a clear message for Thom Tillis to stay the hell out of my vagina! Wait, can I rephrase that?”
Lisa Glenn, Banker

“I totes don’t even know who I #voted for. I just came out to see the cray adorbs #models! Like, I didn’t even know the human body had so many #abs!”
@JennyWaldrop, #NCSU sophomore
“Where are the shirtless female models, you sexist pigs? Thanks a lot, Obama!”
Billy Forcey, Sgt. Maj, US Army (Ret.)
“On the judges, I always vote for the woman, because they excel at judging.”
Karri-Sue Hollenback, Dental Hygienist
“It’s not that I’m against parks. I’m just against paying for parks.”
Tiffany Kasey, Unemployed

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