Thom Tillis’s Work Experience Before Politics Varied More Wildly Than You Might Think

By CRAIG MILLAR         OCT. 15, 2014

    Tillis gestures with birdcage liner at a blacks-only diner he snuck into.

Tillis gestures with birdcage liner at a blacks-only diner he snuck into.

RALEIGH, NC —Speaker Thom Tillis (R., Mecklenburg) has made it a talking point that he’s one of the people – that his job experience, as a Senate campaign ad says, includes stints as “a paperboy, a short-order cook, a warehouse clerk, and eventually a partner at IBM.”

However, Ungrammared has learned that what Tillis’s campaign leaves out is his time as a fence for heroin traffickers, a circus acrobat, a Noni juice pitchman, a Chinese prostitute, and a homeless guy named Aaron.

“Those were a little too real-world,” Tillis campaign spokesman Daniel Keylin said irritably. “I think the four jobs in the ad give you the idea.”

“HEE WAASS MEG-NEEF-EE-SUUNT,” shouted retired ringmaster Bill Brickle through a megaphone at Continents Falls Retirement Community, speaking of Tillis’s six years as an acrobat. Asked about his performance with the traveling circus, Brickle said, “HEEE AALWAAYS CAUUUGHT THEE GIIIRRLL,” referring to Cherie Berry and her short stint in the circus before abandoning an aerobatic career for her unquenchable love of elevators.

Sen. Kay Hagan is expected to counter with an ad mentioning her time as a banker, a door-to-door vacuum saleswoman, and an African-American farmer.

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