It’s nearly getting close to almost State Fair time! And since it’s a slow fake news week, Ungrammared presents its lineup of the stars coming to Raleigh and rockin’ out in the Dort Narena!
The hyperlink does not work, as this image was ripped off of the real State Fair website, where you can find actual concerts coming to the Fair.
State Fair: 16-26 October, NC State Fairgrounds, Raleigh (just outside Beltline)
Haulin’ Oats (Radiohead cover band): Jim Graham Building, 16 October, 8pm-3am
Lost In The Trees: cancelled due to there not being a big enough space to hold all 1,258 band members
Bruno Mars: strapped to the Vortex; we’ll see what happens, 17 October, 3pm
INXS minus 1: Red Cross Building across from place where you give fake names for paging, 18 October, 4:15pm
50 Cent: Long, oddly Spanish-style building (between GOP and Libertarian booths), 19 October, 9pm
Stevie Nicks: Fairground Petting Zoo (goat section), 20 October, 7pm
The Connells: Dort Narena, 16-26 October, 8am-5pm (unless George has a showing)
U2‘s The We’re Still Musically and Politically Relevant Tour: dirt racetrack where they have less-popular ethnic festivals and occasional gang stabbings, 20 October, 3pm downloads of show available for presale or free afterwards
Scotty McCreery: Dort Narena, 21 October, 8pm – tix totally sold out to every hot sorority girl at State and dudes from Garner
Pharrell: Dort Narena, 24 October, 8pm (disclaimer: singing Happy over and over for two hours)
Weird Al Yankovic: stage next to the “World’s Tiniest Woman” who’s actually a very nice dwarf sitting in front of large-scale objects, 25-26 October, four shows – inexplicably totally sold out